my muffintops,

sorry if you missed me at the HM play party last saturday. sick and busy was i … stressed and sapped. now i have the hangover of excitement and excessive phlegm and overstimulation, in the best possible way. and i feel my life juices replenish as i type this very blog post! sigh.

exciting things are brewing at the mountain. NEW VIDEO CONTENT. WEBSITE ADDITIONS. KINKY ARTS. shooting, kinky drawing, play- play- playing, all of this and more will be happening in our west loop wonderland bigtime in the coming weeks. i for one am AMPED THE FUCK UP.

i would like to write a series of essays at some point in the manner of nietzsche’s crazy-as-shit late work, ecce homo. don’t get me wrong: i am not an adolescent boy. i am not a nazi. i am not a retarded pseudo-intellectual. but hot damn f.n. is my man, always and forever. in case you are not familiar, ecce homo has chapter titles like the following: “why i Am so wise”, “why i am so clever”, “why i write such good books” and “why i am a destiny.”

my seedlings are SO big! almost time to plant outside, if only chicago would give me some sign it will not freeze our asses anymore. i thinned the baby sprouts a few days ago, and anonda and i had a ritual where we gave thanks and ate them with truffle oil: baby beets, baby carrots, baby lettuce … mmmm nothin like eating babies to put me in a good mood.

and i am in a good fuckin mood, despite the wan and impotent sun. the only thing that would put me over the edge, into ecstatic happyland, is if i heard more of your submissive voices in my telephone this afternoon. that means you. and you. naw not you, sorry. but YOU, definitely.

(312) 637-9391, ext.7

much love,
MD

i know what would make me feel even better: MORE PHONE CALLS

or try the booking line to talk sessions: (312) 637-9391 x7

here is a photo by Mistress Kit from our Holy Mountain spring party. just me and a few of my friends …

in other new, i had my first bbq of the season and plan to do that about 7,000 more times. in a bit i will take a steamy bath, use a netty pot for the first time, and play the cello — perhaps naked — in order to generate and absorb its vibrations. i think they will be good for whatever is going on inside.

love,
MD

my phone was completely DEAD for a day! after appeasing some cellular gods, burning incense, hanging a sachet with rue and lithium-ion, and reciting the proper incantations from my verizon magic handbook, it has ARISEN. so mote it be.

CALL ME.

(312) 637-9391 x7

CALL ME ON NITEFLIRT.

i would like a complete collection of the published journals of anais nin, a spice rack, some real truffle oil, undies (size s), party dresses (size 4), and oh yeah, duh BOOTS (size 8.5) , etc. etc. gifts should be sent to Deliya c/o Holy Mountain; 917 W Washington, Suite 143; Chicago, IL 60607. spanking people rules so hard, and i did a bunch of it at the spring party on saturday. nothing tops bare skin on bare skin, the resonant smack of palm on ass cheek, etc. etc. alrighty, have a great day! xoxoMD

and now i am gonna jump back in. because i never could resist a politics-at-the-dinner-table moment. and because i grow distinctly excited at the notion of ya’ll as my captive audience. i imagine you all roped up, intricately tied by the invisible threads of electronics and desire. and i feel like it’s playtime, that moment when i realize i have you and might not know completely what to do with you, but it doesn’t matter because you’ll take and love whatever i have to give you, if-it-pleases-me-mistress.

and because, as i have reiterated numerous times at this point, i just don’t give a fuck.

so i have been thinking a lot about, oh, what should we call it … the THEORY end of this kind of work. gender stuff. connections between the sex industry and that freakish outside world in which we all still must put some time. what is influencing me is a combination of things i read and conversations with friends. and what is congealing in this conceptual quagmire is a stewy conglomeration of chunks like issues of masculinity, and psychological motives for doing and seeking sex work.

so i read this article in slate. it made a lot of observations i have made: that there is a lot of sex-negativity in my generation, that there is a conservative backlash against baby-boomers, the ’60’s and ’70’s, sexual liberation, feminism, etc. and that these reactionary turds lurk like shit-smelling explosives in a minefield that is ostensibly ‘liberal.’

here is an illustrative quote from lady gaga, who i must say i do not give two shits about: “It’s not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.” um riiiight, whatever the fuck that means. like i say, no two shits. but anyway …

the article does not point out anything new because i observe these trends in my everyday life. i live in the world and probably do not come across many people in my urban milieu or what have you who are not ‘down’, ostensibly. yet dig a milimeter deep beneath this culture — and even the loose web of counter-culture, where i spend much of my social time — and the same old shit explodes in your face. duh.

so mainstream culture is pretty clearly the steaming pile of repressive poop it tends to be. and youth culture, even the freakier nooks, doesn’t always smell so great. so what are we pro-joy/pleasure folk to do? and what motives might we — ‘decent’ dudes and self-respecting, smart women alike — for seeking out the sexual underbelly of our society?

i found some worthwhile and insightful nuggets in this collection of essays about stripping: Flesh for fantasy: Producing and Consuming Exotic Dance. it’s edited by three lady academics, r. danielle egan, katherine frank, and merri lisa johnson, who have all spent some time as dancers. one interesting thing is they include essays both by sex work providers and sex work clients. we all know that 99.999% of these clients are men. and of course the outlook is largely hetero. let’s start with one of these nuggets. katherine frank interviewed a bunch of strip club customers; here’s what one had to say about why he kept coming back:

“Many of the men that I spoke with discussed their confusion as to what was expected of them as “men” in relationships with women. … “Other men complained that they were expected to be strong and assertive, both at home and in their workplaces, but their female partners were at the same time interested in greater communication and emotional expression. Joe summed this up very succinctly:

My wife expects me to be strong emotionally, physically, and I expect spiritually, too … But emotionally, she wants me to be strong but she doesn’t want me to be overbearing. She wants me to cry and be sensitive, to be the leader and the rock … I’m confused as hell. I wouldn’t say that openly in public but I’m definitely confused about what it is to be a man.”

boo fucking hoo, why don’t you dial 911 and call the waaaambulance, right?  it is so hard to be a man in this world, why don’t you cry me a goddam river.  no, seriously folks.  this is a pretty typical example, but i see this crisis of contemporary masculinity play out in the troubled psyches of even atypical men i know.  and i do not envy it, and i have SHITTONS of sympathy.  although we women often get this shit end of this shit stick of confusion, i have a fair amount of compassion for men honestly navigating the morass.

which leads me to my next nugget.  it is a patent fallacy that women who do sex work, especially professional domination, suffer or delight in the agonies and ecstasies of man-hatred.  quite the opposite.  plenty of them seek a place, like men, where the ‘confusion’ of real-world gender relations can be tabled.  or at least troubled. women can unabashedly be sexy and powerful, and (hetero) men can be unabashedly men.  sexual appeal and erotic desire can be openly celebrated, without all the landmines that we have grown to associate with such things. here is what one lady, merri lisa johnson, said about why she became a stripper:

“ In the context of an American culture defined by its intensely contradictory responses to sex – the lasciviousness and puritanism – as well as in the context of my own personal life which was, when I first entered the profession at age twenty-one, defined by an unexpected divorce that had thrown my moral framework painfully into question, this stripper sexuality offered a welcome alternative to marriage and the church teachings that had left me angry and freaked out about sex.  Other options were, I’m sure, available – tantric sex, swinging, etc. – but stripping was the venue through which I realized the possibilities of a freer sense of sexuality.”

you can easily substitute BDSM or what have you in place of stripping here.   let’s dwell on “a freer sense of sexuality.”  huh.  now i know i speak from a privileged position as an independent domme working out of a female-run space.  i come from a middle-class background, have no kids, and could be doing other things.  but Flesh for Fantasy also makes some good points on this front.  one, that there are plenty of women like me, who seek out sex work reasons other than poverty and desperation.  and two, that the danger associated with the work says more about the larger culture, the stigma and ghettoization, which leaves workers vulnerable to exploitation.

and how about the alternative, the straight professional world. here is johnson again:

“The abusiveness of a sexual script that encourages us to repress what Naomi Wolf calls our ‘inner slut’ cannot be compartmentalized as the product of the sex industry.  It is all around us, perhaps even worse in nonstrip-club spaces.  When I check the neckline of my blouse or blot my red lipstick before going to work, when my hips begin to ache from keeping my legs crossed for eight hours under my desk, I am living out a sexual script that prohibits the erotic in everyday life.  It can be seen in the ‘tight and constricted posture’ of conventional femininity, to borrow the language of Sandra Lee Bartky’s critique of patriarchal bodily disciplines, and unconscious physical ‘expression of [the] need to ward off real or symbolic sexual attack.’  In the strip club, there is no such thing as too much lipstick, and it is worth noting that my joints don’t hurt as much from spreading my legs as they do from crossing them.”

i must say, for a long time in real life i experienced my sexuality as a burden that i felt i was constantly shielding others and myself from.  while an unspoken asset, professionally and socially, i sensed it to be a kind of grotesque wildcard, threatening for everyone involved.  the elephant-with-a-boner quietly lurking in the corner of the room while we discuss work or bands we both like.  the playroom, in contrast, is a space where the elephant, in all his absurdity, is fully acknowledged.  which is to say, the eroticism that pervades much of human interaction is given free reign and not violently and awkwardly repressed.  yeehaw!

alright, i will leave you to chew on those nuggets.  and also to chew on this creepy and delightful gem:

damn the espresso.

damn the espresso.

you tasted really good, and i wanted you at the time. i don’t regret you, but damn you.

but lucky you, readers, reaping the benefits of my wee hours’ adventures. we had a good camera club this sunday, and some tasty morsels came out of it. thanks for these, curtis! more to come … oh, do note the hood and bondage strap i crocheted in the rightmost photo! there is a sweater there too — can you spot it?

i also engaged in a personal project:

these are some of my favorite herbs in their new homes, little glass bottles with little cork stoppers. i acquired lotsa these bottles while on an adventure with just this purpose in mind. i have had a vision of all my plant treasures like this for awhile, as they have been in jumbled baggies strewn about on my floor. ah, projects!

well that’s all it took, piglets. i am positively sleepy. time to eat my leftover pizza slice and head to bed!

sweet dreams
love,
MD

today’s special treat: some cutie patootie pics from the archives that i took with my friend two winters ago. i don’t even remember why we took these. i think maybe we just wanted to feel sexy! there is something i find really poignant about these cheesy d.i.y. sexy pics. very slumber party.

my visual imagination is really sharp right now. as in, when i talk to people on the telephone and we chat about our mutual interests, i get vivid and sudden pictures of what a scene might be like. i can see how i might tie them to a chair with my special patented Magenta Crochet Bondage Strap, what angle the chair is to the wall, what angle i am to the chair, what i am wearing, etc. i see in exactly what position i will spank them and the kinds of facial expressions we will both wear. also subtle things, like when i will be in view and when only my voice will be sensible. spontaneously it comes to me in my mind’s eye what moments would be ripe for what activities. my creative mistress juices are flowing now, so to speak. do seize this moment, if you know what’s what, and gimme a ring!

(312) 637-9391 x7

in other news, our spring party has been moved to next next weekend, i.e. saturday the 17th. it is a tax relief party! do your taxes then come get a whoopin from your favorite mistresses. i tell you this now because i have gotten some inquiries and want to get people started on the planning/rsvp process plenty early. email Mistress Zaynab at Mistress@MistressZaynab.com to attend.

love,
MD

now i am very busy because i need to take care of a lot of important things before attending trivia at an undisclosed location in chicago. i must, for instance, listen to more muzak while spacing out in my room, eat some leftovers, and contemplate the spider costume i am constructing for my upcoming video. i will probably also roll a little smelly joint with some old sage and ground cloves and burn it to see what it smells like.

but first i would like to share with you my latest AWESOME spam along with some accompanying images i selected for your viewing pleasure. this will make sense after you read the spam: i managed to find a representation of the controversial otter/manatee carving to which my spam refers. manatees must indeed be strict vegetarians as all other images of these gentle giants eating showed them clearly gnawing on ocean greens, suggesting they are indeed the adorable sea bovines they are reputed to be. additionally, i unearthed a charming carving of a madonna and child, manatee-flavored. and just to spice things up, i am tossing in that old classic, auto-fellatio walrus. thanks, lucinda, for introducing me to one of my fave internet animal pals. enjoy!

Gists as to what
the manatee is like, it is of interest to note that the carving of a
second
otter with a fish in its mouth has been made to do duty as a manatee,
although the latter animal is well known never to eat
fish, but, on the contrary, to

be strictly herbivorous. Thus Stevens gives figures of two
carvings in his “Flint Chips,” p. 429, Figs. 65 and 66, calling them
manatees, and says: “In one particular, however, the
sculptors of the mound-period committed an error. Although the lamantin
is strictly
herbivorous, feeding chiefly upon subaqueous plants and littoral herbs,
yet upon one of the stone

smoking-pipes, Fig. 66, this animal is represented with a
fish in its mouth.” Mr. Stevens apparently preferred to credit the mound
sculptor with gross ignorance of the habits of the manatee, rather than
to abate one jot or tittle of the claim possessed

by the carving to be considered a representation

of that animal. Stevens’s fish-catching manatee

is the same carving given by Dr. Rau, in the Archaeological Collection
of the United States National Museum, p. 47, Fig. 180, where it is
correctly stated to be an otter. This cut, which can scarcely be
distinguished
from one given by Stevens (Fig. 66), is here reproduced (Fig.
6), together with the second supposed manatee of the latter writer (Fig.
7).

love,
MD

MISTRESS DELIYA IS AVAILABLE TO PLAY THROUGH YOUR TELEPHONE.

are you …
A) a lurker?
B) outside chicago?
C) agoraphobic?
D) into TOTAL MEDIATION?

then you might wanna try out this phone talkin thang. click on the guy above, and it will tell you if i am available, how to call, etc. for now, i will aim to keep regular hours in the afternoon. we will see how that goes. lotsa folks call the regular number and seem to be pretty chatty. i strictly limit that to convos about basic interests and appointment scheduling. seven minutes twenty-two seconds tops. for calls seven minutes twenty-three seconds or longer, we will now switch to nite flirt, where i will talk to you all fuckin day.

love,
MD

once again, watch it to the very end, muffins! or else i will love you just a little less.

i woke up ass crack early today after staying up till 4 as i had a bureaucratic errand to run in a strange part of town. any occasion i have to visit a city nook i have not explored is always appreciated. this one seemed pretty ghetto.

turned out to be the wrong office anyway, and by then it was too late to go to the right one. this put me in a really good mood. something about the absurdity of such an outing, combined with exhaustion, can be slightly glorious. nothin like feelin all loose and fuck-all on a monday morning.

so my friends and i had monday night talking heads dance parties for awhile at the university. in my super-8-ified memory we would end up in a dorm room on like west 114th street jumping around on the bed, like when you stayed at a hotel with your parents. sounds wholesome as shit saying it now. it seems that i am reviving that on this blog. if you are reading this and watching the above video, i encourage — no i COMMAND — you to spank yourself a few times and jump around for a minute or two spastically.

i am excited about the video vashti and i are making at holy mountain. all of us who are making new videos for this group project are meeting today to talk about production. yay! ours will be very beautiful and spider-themed.

gots another muzak to share. this song played in my head EVERY SINGLE time i walked the last few blocks to holy mountain this winter.

i talked to someone on the telephone yesterday about psychological domination. YES! i am into it. psychiatrist role play is a fave, and i would LOVE to learn more hypnotism techniques. i mean, this is kinda like kinky therapy, right?

lastly, i just stumbled across this video in internetland. the song popped up, bizarrely, at the japanese karaoke thing i ended up at a few nights ago. it apparently wants to be in my life, and now it shall be in yours.

i will post my niteflirt info soony soon soon. i am gonna be so good at telephone domination.

full moon tonight. happy pesach, freaks.

love,
MD

this video makes me crazy happy. watch it to the end!

sometimes i get the most awesome spam in my mistress deliya account:

inopp ortun e enzym ology inopp ortun e retor t rici suppr essor s
falsi fier mourn er tinin ess overs oul misju dged agitp rop
brine enume rated mytho mania misco unt boule vardi se curts ey
shotl ine shemb e schem atise limp trach eal super bazaa r

love,
MD

pee ess: lucinda is gonna help me set up my niteflirt account real soon. hit me up on it, muffins. my phone etiquette is outta control. xoxo