Great News!!!
May 14, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
I have great news to tell,
I am being put in a gallery in Zurich, Switzerland in July !
Through pornsaints.org, I was accepted and rendered by artist Nasuko Otani – he did this beautiful portrait of how he viewed me as a playful Domme.
I’m being sent a free copy of the catalog in which I’ll be printed for the gallery exhibit along with all the other ladies (mainly porn stars or adult film stars, I’m one of the few Domme’s who made the cut). I’m so excited! Finally a book I’m published in that I can afford – because it’s FREEEEE
I was given the option to order more at cost, and re sell them though misspanic.com. I am VERY pleased, I never thought I’d be someone’s big panting in Switzerland! And even more awesome, the artist is from Tokoyo and lives and works in England I do believe.
Please check out this art!
www.natsukiotani.com
The works are beautiful!
I am thrilled, and honored to have been picked for this gallery exhibit! You have no idea, I think my smile may break in half today.
I’m sitting here thinking, two years ago I was in a horrible relationship – my boyfriend at the time, didn’t even like for me to go to parties alone, let alone model. I worked 3 jobs, and had no free time other than to come home, clean, do laundry, and eat a bite here and there.
Now, I look at myself, and I’m shocked at what I’ve accomplished. I know to some, this is a small resume. But I’ve worked with over 70 professional photographers. I’m noted, if not an album of my own on at least 10 professional sites, whether it be for the photographer, a clothing line, or interviewed. I’ve been published in The Mammoth which is a noted Erotic Photography book, which to me is the best because it’s available in the USA at Barnes and Noble (due out in September!!!!) Then there’s 2 other books in which I’m doing my best, but life keeps getting in my way – The Human Process which is $100. 00 and the Art House Fashion Journal I was printed in, in Europe, which is $150.00.
I am overwhelmed with how proud of myself I am. I had to learn to be who I wanted to be, and learn to love myself before I could free myself of any insecurities so I could model to the best of my abilities.
I sigh … because I’m the happiest little girl in the world right now – because I’m getting my FREE CATALOG from Switzerland in a few months (of course I have to wait until they print them, hahah, patience Miss Panic … patience!!!)
So, this is all great news. However, on the job front – negative. No responses to applications, and no response from the Vintage store since they mentioned interviewing me. And I’ve written twice more to let them know I was serious.
So, bah hum bug on that front.
And bahumbug on 2 sessions canceled today.
My feet won’t massage themselves! lol
—-
my blood is BOILING
May 12, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
I haven’t gotten this angry in a while.
I’m walking down the street, in my new hood. I’m on the phone with my mother dearest, complaining again, because now the electric company says they don’t believe I live where I live, and want a copy of my fucking drivers license before they will turn on the electric.
Fucking, HELLO. It’s been 12 days I’ve sat in the dark. What the fuck is my drivers license have to do with ANYTHING ELECTRIC!?!!?
So, I’m walking … to the library to steal internet and charge my phone – and TWO, ADULT FUCKING WHITE MEN. Probably age 60/65 start yelling sexual things at me.
Take note, I’m wearing sneakers, jeans, a guy’s belt, and a grey plain cable knit sweat shirt. My hair is a mess, because I can’t curl, or straighten it … and I’m wearing NO MAKE UP.
When, while on the phone, my mom says “who’s yelling?”
And then, I chime back to the gentlemen I’m walking alongside when they said ” shake it baby don’t break it !!! ohhhh yah !!!! ”
they repeated this to me about six times, when I put my phone down, and tell them to SHUT THE FUCK UP before I come and spit in their fucking old man faces. I was THIS CLOSE to taking my belt off, and striking them across the fucking face.
How fucking dare you yell at me. How fucking dare you think those words will get you ANYWHERE in life.
I laugh at people who think shit like that will either A) actually get you my number b) get you a date with me or c) get you laid.
And if one more man approaches me on the way home, asking me “where is your husband?” I will FLIP OUT.
I might even get arrested because I can’t hold back my anger for how belittling the male species is to women.
And sometimes I wonder, why I like corporal punishment – hahaha, it’s because you men make me sick to my stomach, barely no one knows how to treat a woman, let alone a classy lady as I try to present to the outer world as much as possible. But FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, Cut me some slack.
If I go to jail, I hope you all donate to get me the fuck out. Because, I feel like fighting today. And I have NO PROBLEM punching a man in the face, or using my belt to make you bleed.
The End.
P.S. I already apologized to my mom for my foul language she overheard via the phone, in which my mother NEVER EVER EVVER EVER CURSES, and to which she said “fuck them” … hahahaha, THANKS MOM! FOR ALWAYS BEING ON MY SIDE!
Punishment!
May 10, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
I had a session today with a new client, who was quite the peach!
He arrived on time.
He was well mannered.
He said, please and thank you to his Mistress, and said he enjoyed his time spent with me =) It was EXTREMELY NICE to be back in control today, and to have his control taken away.
I see that most clients of mine, need that in their lives. They work day in and day out ordering people around, and some times …. they need punishment themselves =) Which is what I like to hear!
“There are always flowers for those who want to see them” – Matisse
May 7, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
Working on new art – finished slave brian’s commissioned piece, and started on this new one.
I’ll post slave b’s piece as soon as he gets it, so I don’t ruin the surprise, because he hasn’t seen the final piece.
So far there’s a white wolf. Then there’s going to be a black rat you can see his outline, but he’ll be coming from the wolf’s head ….
I’m thinking of doing 3 more white wolves, and then a giant one ontop of all of them in a turquoise ….
ah, new paints are so exciting!!! Plus, I love painting big pieces! They’re more fun for me, to crawl around on the floor and work on that the tiny canvas. But the tiny canvas’ are so good to put in my purse and work on them when I’m on the train.
yippppeeee …. new art!
Weekend is here, possibly an art show tonight if I feel up to it. It’d be nice to dress up, but without electricity I can’t see my make up or work on my hair, lol. So I may leave the house looking like a hot mess, when I think I might have done an alright job. LOL.
Anyways, did you guys know we are working on an etsy store for Holy Mountain? Made of up all the Domme’s art, like a constant art show for us. I’m going into the studio next week to work on the site, and upload some of my modeling prints that will be for sale, as well as some of my smaller art. Saving the big pieces for my next show I’m working on in the next 2-3 months. Gotta make these shows count, as they are what pays my rent recently.
Listening the cure right now, looooving it.
Finally the sun is coming out. Last night’s storm was awful. I thought my bedroom window was going to explode, the lighting and thunder was rattling like a snake in my ear! Scarrrrry!!!
Anyways, I’m off to do laundry. And see what secrets the world has kept from me today!
Feeling positive, and therapy tomorrow =) Excited to see the girls, I am in group with, and the motherly figure I am, hopes that they are all doing better, as I’m sure they have been worried about me, since I was absent last week because I was moving.
Check in with you later.
Oh! And sessioning on Monday, yay! I get to practice my goodies! Spitting, sensory deprivation, and punishment!!!
And slave brian just bought 2 pair of my old heels, and underwear – thanks for that, every little bit helps right now with bills, and my traveling to see my dad with my brother.
I’m a flower in BLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOM!
New Candid Photos
May 6, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
Working on an interview this week for a photography/model intern for a vintage store!!!! If I get it, it will be once a week, and I’ll be in charge of setting up shoots, modeling, editing, and doing promotional work!!! I’ll get paid in vintage clothing!
Still working on a job that will pay me in monies, though. But patience … Miss Panic. Good things come to those who wait =)
Here are a few pictures I took yesterday. Playing with the camera while I have no electricity, and my new hat from the vintage store I found this week!
2 years as a Domme, and what do I have to show?
May 5, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
And, I struggle even getting a waitressing job.
I’ve applied to American Apparel, had 4 interviews with Akira, all for them to say, “sorry, not hiring at the moment.”
Why would you let me meet all mgrs, the owner, and then string me along?
I think I have to cancel my Canada trip.
My boyfriend got a promotion/demotion. He’s not allowed tips anymore, which takes out about $100.00 a week, and cut his hours back by 10 …
I have to, have to, HAVE TO, session like a motherfucker, or find someone who is willing to hire me.
And no, I don’t want to work in a shoe store. It would be the death of me, and I would want to quit with 10 minutes.
I just applied to 13 more places, and walked 5 miles yesterday going door to door to cafe’s, and antique stores to see if anyone was hiring. One lady even said ” We don’t have a turn over rate, because NO ONE will ever quit this job.” I wannnnnnted to work at that antique mall, like it was the death of me.
Ugh, feeling blue again today. Lacking funds. Can’t set up internet today, can’t do anything. Charging my phone in public places, makes me feel poor. I hate the feeling of poverty. I literally, am freaking out. I can’t cook, I can’t see after 6pm, I’ve used all my tea lights, and I have one big candle and a flash light left.
My dad made me cry this week, I’m receiving pressure from the love partner …. funds are downward spiraling. I feel myself choking ….
I will paint walls, I will clean, I can make art like a mother fucker. But, I need people to be interested in me. I’m dropping off business cards left and right. I only have one art show up right now, and I haven’t sold anything. I’ve applied to 2 more art shows, and have yet to hear anything ….
I don’t even know what to do right now.
SO, IF ANYONE WANTS TO SESSION. PLEASE EMAIL ME, WITH ATLEAST A 24 HOUR NOTICE, OR CALL (Maybe my phone will be charged, maybe it won’t.) But, atleast try!
And, accepting donations ( I hate, HATE sounding like a broken record here) for help getting the electricity turned on at my new place.
Gypsy Curtains and Around the House!
May 4, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
I got camera happy yesterday, as slave brian bought me a new card so I can upload photos from my camera. So I thought I’d share a few of my new surroundings, and my gypsy curtains I’ve been working on, a view of my books, and my new female bust I’ve begun decorating, a gift from slave brian as well =) enjoy!
(seeee, I’m a normal person, tooooooo =))
(my pride and joy, bought this couch at a thrift store, for $100.00!!!)
My new obsession, is collecting sea glass and shells for my plants. Yesterday I found a tiny little crab leg!
My love for blown glass, a gift from slave brian, for Christmas. It looks ammmmazing in the sun rise.
My book collection, and artistic shrine =) The girl blind folded was a gift from my Australian slave, I wonder where he’s off to – I miss you, if you still are reading this !
My little naked statues are from Chile, and one of my favorite possessions. Also, the little iron piece is from the fence of my first Chicago apartment, as a momento =)
This is my favorite photo, of my bedroom.
My bedroom curtains. A mixture of vintage lace scarves, and my grandmother’s scarves. I love the way the light shines through lace …. it’s the most beautiful, elegant thing in the world to me.
Another favorite. A table I found in the ally, painted it – and added a painters box, given to me by an ammmmmazing artist I was lucky to be neighbors with in North Carolina. He sold his paintings to museums for $50,000 a piece, and he would come over to give me pointers =) An iron key, to hold my necklaces, from which I’ve collected from my grandmother, my mother, and a few vintage finds I fell in love with =)
And my mother’s lamp, to which I pride myself on showing off! =)
Hope you enjoy, the little pieces of me, I’m sharing !!!!
Sessions this week!
May 4, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
Feeling great, and want to get out of the house and practice my bdsm, so I don’t get rusty!
Sessions this week are $200.00 is you’re a regular of mine, and $250 to new clients, though you must be a room service member if you are new. This is a service that you give your info to, and it’s an easy way, discreet for me to check you out, and make sure you’re not a wanker! I suggest you all do it, if you’re interested in seeing a woman of my ranking! It’s $50.00 for a year I believe!
So, I DESPERATELY need my feet rubbed, bathed, and pampered. They aren’t looking so cute anymore after all this intense labor or moving!
Caning, I wanna hit!
Paddles, and floggers. I WANT TO GET MY HANDS ON!
This is really what I feel like doing, perhaps, mummification – always my favorite.
And we have a body bag, that I’m dying to see if anyone will get in. This requires TRUST. Obviously, I won’t leave you in there. But I’m looking to test some limits here! So, let ME!
Contact me, I’m available this week from 9am, to 9pm ONLY and off on Sunday! Because I’m doing my first photo shoot in a long while, not that I’m feeling up to it again!
So, sessions, sessions, sessions. I need to make some mula for my trip to Canada with my brother (gas isn’t cheap, and we’re driving!) to see my dad!
Accepting donations as well, though I think most of you are cheap =) hehehe
And, thanks for all the sweet comments on my post yesterday. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you guys and gals are checking on my site, on the regulllllar =)
Blows Kisses :-*
xoxox
Miss Panic
I’m Alive!
May 3, 2010 A Day in the Life of Miss Panic
Dear Everyone, especially, slave B, Mistress Tracey, “ol friend” and my ladies at Holy Mountain.
I am alive.
I’m without electricity for the next 2 weeks, then going to Canada to see my dad, with my brother (part of my mental spring cleaning … I miss my family.)
So, if I’m not responding immediately to emails (which I usually do, unless I’m suuuuuppppper busy) don’t worry your pretty little heads!
My depression is fading, still going to therapy (helping a lot!!!) and cleansing my soul =)
I appreciate all the emails coming in, checking on me, making sure I’m okay. I love you all so dearly, for caring for me.
I’ll be checking in, at internet cafes, and friend’s houses. But just wanted to let everyone know. I’m fully moved, and trying to settle in … in the dark. LOL.
Woe, is me! lol
xoxo
Miss Panic
(my new view)
Yes, that’s my childhood boomarang from Australia, and my blown glass heart, given to me by slave Brian =)
It’s almost, a home.
xoxox
Miss Panic
